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Embracing Dark Emotions - LP Coaching Brampton

Difficult Emotions or Moods are Temporary

Dark clouds hanging over your head? “This too shall pass.”

Does this sound trite? Sure. If you are at a time in your life where you are wondering when something challenging is going to end, you might roll your eyes at this. I get it. I’ve been there. (I am a massive fan of eye-rolling). I am rolling my eyes on behalf of you, with you. We’re in this together. I’ve got nothing but love for my fellow eye-rollers!

So yes, roll your eyes and “yeah whatever” away, AND know that it will pass. Now, I have absolutely no idea when these tough times will end, and I am so sorry if it seems to be taking an eternity.

Some of you might even be dealing with chronically stressful situations. In this case, the dark clouds might be feelings of dread, misery, sadness, etc. In my mindfulness practise and mindful self-compassion training, I am learning that these feelings are impermanent.

They will come and go. It may not seem like it, but when you start paying attention and notice, you get a sense of the temporary nature of feelings. The circumstance itself might not pass for those facing a chronic stressor, but perhaps knowing those unpleasant feelings will pass provides you with some relief.

It doesn’t mean you dismiss them or avoid them either. It just means you hold them lightly. (This goes for pleasant experiences and feelings too).

However, if the dark clouds happen to be thoughts that are depressive, I encourage you to seek support. Having gone through depression myself, I know firsthand the stigma surrounding mental illness. It is hard for me to tell you to get rid of shame, and yet, you may not be in a place to befriend it either.

It’s ok to acknowledge it and allow it to stay while permitting yourself to get help. You might say to yourself, “I am noticing shame around this depression; this feels tough, and what I need most is to be open to seeking and receiving appropriate support.”

And then, be sure to complement professional support with social and self-support. What do you need from others, and can you be transparent with them? What do you need from yourself, and can you permit yourself to care for yourself just as you might for another?

And by the way, if you are not ready to “find the silver lining” (another potential eye roll invoking advice to the pessimist at heart), no worries. Please don’t force it. Sometimes this is easy to do, depending on the situation.

Other times? Not so much. It may take a lot more healing, processing, time and distance from what has occurred before you even get there. And it may not be the time to “get there.” Some of you might be tempted to bypass the hard stuff to find the “gifts,” “lessons,” and “blessings.”

I’ve been tempted too, only to realize that I was asking too much of myself, too soon.

You don’t have to worry about it being too late to find that silver lining. Let it follow naturally. Less striving might be just what you need, just as dark clouds don’t force themselves to pass.

They just do, and before you know it, everything becomes clear.